Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Putting a question out there to the Universe, or God, if you will...

In my spiritual director class we are given several questions to answer over the term. Naturally, I have been procrastinating in the same way I have been putting off starting this blog. It dawned on my that I can put an end to my procrastinating all around and forever by cutting two carrots with one knife (compassionate version of the birds/stone expression) and posting my first journal question as my first blog post. Yes, I am too industrious for my own good. So here it is, my answer to the question,

"What question would you like to ask God and why?"

I am tackling this question after just having tested a chocolate recipe for the first time and subsequently consuming nearly half the chocolate before getting it into the mold. My first inclination is therefore to ask God, “Why is my self-control always reduced to naught when it comes to chocolate?” Engaging God in this dialogue, however, would be futile as we all know it is best to just surrender to chocolate. I’m sure God knows that I know this. Moving on to a question in which the stakes are slightly higher, relatively speaking, yet of content concerning no greater importance, absolutely speaking, I would ask God, “What is my higher purpose and how can I use it to serve all sentient beings and our planet?”
            Getting an answer to this question would probably make life too easy, yet that doesn’t stop my burning desire to know...now.  Given the option, I’d much rather skip the discovering, which would of course involve inherent mistakes, obstacles, stepping out of my comfort zone, facing fears and maybe even falling on my face a few times. How wonderful it would be to instantaneously come to a definite knowing of why I am here! I could therefore get started on pursuing my higher purpose sans self-doubt or questioning, “am I really doing the right thing?”
            As I contemplate this question to God, an unsettling feeling comes over me. My inner wisdom tells me that the answer will come in due time yet my ego would love to take the short cut and know right NOW. Despite my resistance, it appears that like so many others, I too have bought into our culture of instant gratification. Knowing the answer to this question would negate the journey required to truly come to and know the answer. The learnings, skills, encounters, growth and self-knowledge attained along the way which are necessary components to the answer of my purpose question would perhaps be overlooked if I had a tangible answer at the snap of my fingers. Following my intuition, noticing synchronicities, using discernment, staying true to myself and diving into the mystery are far more pertinent ways of realizing my purpose than a simple, “Hey God, what do you want me to do? Just tell me and I’ll do it." 
            All this being said and painstakingly mulled over in the short time it’s taken me to write this, I’ve decided to retract my question. Instead, I go back to my original theme concerning chocolate, and I ask, “Dear God, could you make it possible for me to inhale copious amounts of chocolate minus the consequent icky-tummy feeling?”
Love your chocoholic devotee,
What was left of my yummy chia-choc-ies 
after my gorge-fest